Every once in a while on internet we come across a person who happens to be a complete nuisance, behaving in unethical and immoral way which may surely get him into trouble if done same in real world. Is such kind of attitude due the power of "Anonymity" which internet easily provide? We often find ourselves in tight corners due to such behavior from some psycho's who are unleashed throughout the world. Psychologist often regard such people to be totally sane in their normal lives, they behave, eat, talk much like a normal sensible human being, but when it comes to their online avatar things changes drastically, they get into a shroud of perverse behavior, thinks that they are invincible and untraceable, so they start behaving completely opposite to their normal persona.
So what to do when we bump into these online nemesis? our best bet it is to ignore them completely coz such individuals gets a high when they see others panic in front of them, they get turned off if their target stops reacting to their threats and abuse (i had experienced it myself)
We will always have bad apples among us and they will make us doubt even the decent people, we gotta learn from our past experiences and make our future safe, but we will always wonder in despair - "is anonymity a tool to behave unethically?"
simi x
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Reflection of personality
Self admiration is our first love as girls, we often find ourselves getting obsessed with our mirror image. People say "mirror's don't lie", but i say they do lie sometimes when the person standing in front of them is an alluring CD. I love my female persona and so does all other girls like me i presume. We always need a medium to catch our self reflection, maybe with the help of a mirror, other reflective surfaces, or even our lover's eyes. So the fact remains that we can't catch our own image unless we take external help of some medium, hence we remain incomplete of our persona's unless and until we catch ourselves in a physical matter.
Being able to feel our self completely is a nerve wrecking experience, and it can only be felt through personal experience only. This feeling is mesmerizing to behold and too epic to forget over passage of time.
The critical thing to notice here is the fact that different individuals might react differently to this, it's just like a ripple of imagination created by our fantasies, the size of it will inc. same like as a wave propagate from it's epicenter.
A same individual with two distinct personalities or with slight overlapping ones will obviously have different types of emotions running in his or her body whenever a confrontation with a mirror takes place. A CD/TG will disdain the reflection of an unwanted persona and will crave the one desired. Me for example always shy away from my male reflection in the mirror, i hardly ever look at myself (unduly) but in the case of my fem mirror image, i just can't get enough of it, so i can proudly say that i am a narcissist when it comes to being Simi.
Sometimes a mirror can be our enemy aswell, as seen in the cases of individuals with low self esteem. Such cases sometimes leads to many other psychological issues such as lack of confidence, catagelophobia, catoptrophobia and many other problems. These issues need immediate help as depression is more potent than any known intoxicant. Everyone need assurance and love from others, when these things starts to diminish from our lives we start drifting into an abyss of low self esteem, only few people are strong enough to counter this alone, rest everyone needs a helping hand to break this spell of desolation.
simi x
Being able to feel our self completely is a nerve wrecking experience, and it can only be felt through personal experience only. This feeling is mesmerizing to behold and too epic to forget over passage of time.
The critical thing to notice here is the fact that different individuals might react differently to this, it's just like a ripple of imagination created by our fantasies, the size of it will inc. same like as a wave propagate from it's epicenter.
A same individual with two distinct personalities or with slight overlapping ones will obviously have different types of emotions running in his or her body whenever a confrontation with a mirror takes place. A CD/TG will disdain the reflection of an unwanted persona and will crave the one desired. Me for example always shy away from my male reflection in the mirror, i hardly ever look at myself (unduly) but in the case of my fem mirror image, i just can't get enough of it, so i can proudly say that i am a narcissist when it comes to being Simi.
Sometimes a mirror can be our enemy aswell, as seen in the cases of individuals with low self esteem. Such cases sometimes leads to many other psychological issues such as lack of confidence, catagelophobia, catoptrophobia and many other problems. These issues need immediate help as depression is more potent than any known intoxicant. Everyone need assurance and love from others, when these things starts to diminish from our lives we start drifting into an abyss of low self esteem, only few people are strong enough to counter this alone, rest everyone needs a helping hand to break this spell of desolation.
simi x
Click click click.............!
The sound of woman's heels has always been a joy to me and to be honest the louder more distinctive click click of the metal heel has always right from my youth prompted a scan around to find the heels in question and the wearer.
I think this stems from my perception that when I was young this sound was synonymous with glamor and expensive sophistication. Unfortunately it now seems to be shunned by women unless they wish to be noticed
:(
p.s- it's been ages since i heard this sweet sound :'(
simi x
I think this stems from my perception that when I was young this sound was synonymous with glamor and expensive sophistication. Unfortunately it now seems to be shunned by women unless they wish to be noticed
:(
p.s- it's been ages since i heard this sweet sound :'(
simi x
Doomsday
Just imagine that you're a part of a plot where the world is gonna come to an end, maybe through some celestial object collision, some virus outbreak or even the inevitable global warming. So you know that you and everyone in this world is gonna perish without a doubt, what would you do? Ofcourse there would be anarchy and chaos everywhere, humans are anything but psycho's in the guise of civilized cloak of deception.
I am sure you all must be wondering that what the hell i am talking about lol, this is anything but a fantasy come true for any CD.........how? i'll tell you how :P
Scenario no.1 -
People around the world are counting their days left in this world because everything is coming to an end, in such a situation many different kind behavioral patterns gonna be seen in our society, e.g- crime is gonna be at it's peak level, thefts, murders, rape, all of this will become part of the chaos. Many atheist might become overly religious, there will be even chosen few who will like to party hard and enjoy their end of days.
Hmm now here is the interesting fact- what about our beloved lgbt community? how they gonna react to approaching doomsday? i'll try to jod their possible C.O.A in the form of points-
1- some might find it to be a perfect time to come out of closet and be part of the chaotic society (may be in a "kill bill" style)
2- few might kidnap family member of some srs surgeon and ask for surgery as ransom
3- others may spank few annoying psychologist's who over period of many years milked their hard earned money
4- almost everyone might wanna raid all designer stores to be the model they all craved to be since the commencement of ftv. ( *C.O.A - course of action )
Scenario no.2 -
All of the world's population has been wiped off from the face of this planet except...................you (umm think about Will smith in "i am a legend"), you are the only one left in this whole wide world, many new prospects are now possible which seemed bleak in the past even to fantasize. Oh i have had imagined being the last survivor of a doomsday, it somehow seems euphoric than ominous to my senses, why doesn't the sense of loneliness shudder me with fear? why does it seems so much better than our present world? (don't worry i am not suicidal, i am just more of a loner) the answer to this question is ironic to it's core. (i left you all to decipher this riddle :P )
So what are those things which we might observe in our 2nd scenario (do we even need to discuss this lol, Oh wait a sec. the whole world belongs to us now :P ) -
All of our fantasies gonna mingle into one another in such a situation, so we will definitely checkout all the previously forbidden territories, we will behave the way we seem fit, eat, drink what ever and when ever we desire. We don't have to curb our enthusiasm anymore regarding anything, o yes, we will surely live a long life :P
>>>p.s- anyone having hard time imagining all of this do watch- 28 days later, i am a legend and doomsday (just ignore the violence and the baddies)<<<
simi x
I am sure you all must be wondering that what the hell i am talking about lol, this is anything but a fantasy come true for any CD.........how? i'll tell you how :P
Scenario no.1 -
People around the world are counting their days left in this world because everything is coming to an end, in such a situation many different kind behavioral patterns gonna be seen in our society, e.g- crime is gonna be at it's peak level, thefts, murders, rape, all of this will become part of the chaos. Many atheist might become overly religious, there will be even chosen few who will like to party hard and enjoy their end of days.
Hmm now here is the interesting fact- what about our beloved lgbt community? how they gonna react to approaching doomsday? i'll try to jod their possible C.O.A in the form of points-
1- some might find it to be a perfect time to come out of closet and be part of the chaotic society (may be in a "kill bill" style)
2- few might kidnap family member of some srs surgeon and ask for surgery as ransom
3- others may spank few annoying psychologist's who over period of many years milked their hard earned money
4- almost everyone might wanna raid all designer stores to be the model they all craved to be since the commencement of ftv. ( *C.O.A - course of action )
Scenario no.2 -
All of the world's population has been wiped off from the face of this planet except...................you (umm think about Will smith in "i am a legend"), you are the only one left in this whole wide world, many new prospects are now possible which seemed bleak in the past even to fantasize. Oh i have had imagined being the last survivor of a doomsday, it somehow seems euphoric than ominous to my senses, why doesn't the sense of loneliness shudder me with fear? why does it seems so much better than our present world? (don't worry i am not suicidal, i am just more of a loner) the answer to this question is ironic to it's core. (i left you all to decipher this riddle :P )
So what are those things which we might observe in our 2nd scenario (do we even need to discuss this lol, Oh wait a sec. the whole world belongs to us now :P ) -
All of our fantasies gonna mingle into one another in such a situation, so we will definitely checkout all the previously forbidden territories, we will behave the way we seem fit, eat, drink what ever and when ever we desire. We don't have to curb our enthusiasm anymore regarding anything, o yes, we will surely live a long life :P
>>>p.s- anyone having hard time imagining all of this do watch- 28 days later, i am a legend and doomsday (just ignore the violence and the baddies)<<<
simi x
The mythos of an aging cd
We all grow old and get wrinkles but sometimes our psych don't accept the fact and stays in a continuum of adolescence, this scenario is highly to occur in the life of a CD than a GG.
We all love our female persona's, sometimes to an extent that it seems more of an obsession than a mere fantasy, everyone longs to be loved to be praised by their known and unknown admirers, this pressure for perfection makes the sense of time obsolete. A CD get stuck in a particular age and follows a never ending loop of eternal youth (psychologically), her real age has no relevance with her feminine age, both becomes poles apart over passage of time.
How does this affect anything? this question may seem vague to a CD but actually it teaches us alot about our lives, we never want this beautiful dream to end, we are queens of our very own realm, our domain of femininity. No wonder that we refuse to change with flow of chronos.
As today i added one more year to my ethereal life, i just wonder if it got counted in my feminine life or........not?
simi x
We all love our female persona's, sometimes to an extent that it seems more of an obsession than a mere fantasy, everyone longs to be loved to be praised by their known and unknown admirers, this pressure for perfection makes the sense of time obsolete. A CD get stuck in a particular age and follows a never ending loop of eternal youth (psychologically), her real age has no relevance with her feminine age, both becomes poles apart over passage of time.
How does this affect anything? this question may seem vague to a CD but actually it teaches us alot about our lives, we never want this beautiful dream to end, we are queens of our very own realm, our domain of femininity. No wonder that we refuse to change with flow of chronos.
As today i added one more year to my ethereal life, i just wonder if it got counted in my feminine life or........not?
simi x
Purging
The thought of purging girly items by a cd isn't very unconventional, every once in a while there comes a moment when they think it is best to leave their dressing behind and move forward with their lives. The important question here is - does purging ever helps? umm according to me No it never does, because crossdressing isn't some fun activity which we indulge ourselves in our leisure time, it's an unconscious desire which takes over us time and time again. We find ourselves spinning inside this wheel all our life.
There are many things which can make a person opt for purging, such as :-
* Feeling guilt of being a cd
* Constant fear of getting caught by friends or family
* Getting married
* Being forced to change lifestyle by some loved ones
There are many other points which i can add to this list, but according to me the most important one has to be the 1st point (feeling guilt of being a cd), i had chatted extensively with cd's around the world over past 8 years of my internet life, i have realized that most of them feel ashamed and sad about who they are. Almost every single one of them feels that they are living a life
which they wished never should have existed in the first place. So in order to achieve a stability in their life they try to leave their cd'ing behind, they just don't understand one thing, that they can't leave something which wasn't forced on them by anyone. They were destined to be who they are, so it's best to accept that and make the best of it.
So according to my experience if a person tries to curb their desires and goes into an exile, they should know the fact that they will only come back to their previous life with more enthusiasm and with much BANG!
simi x
There are many things which can make a person opt for purging, such as :-
* Feeling guilt of being a cd
* Constant fear of getting caught by friends or family
* Getting married
* Being forced to change lifestyle by some loved ones
There are many other points which i can add to this list, but according to me the most important one has to be the 1st point (feeling guilt of being a cd), i had chatted extensively with cd's around the world over past 8 years of my internet life, i have realized that most of them feel ashamed and sad about who they are. Almost every single one of them feels that they are living a life
which they wished never should have existed in the first place. So in order to achieve a stability in their life they try to leave their cd'ing behind, they just don't understand one thing, that they can't leave something which wasn't forced on them by anyone. They were destined to be who they are, so it's best to accept that and make the best of it.
So according to my experience if a person tries to curb their desires and goes into an exile, they should know the fact that they will only come back to their previous life with more enthusiasm and with much BANG!
simi x
Double standards
"wow your daughter is more of a boy" one aunty commented to my mom about my tomboyish elder sis, my mom was cool about it and giggled with that women. I started wondering that why our society is created in a way that men aren't allowed to deviate even slightly from the social norms, whereas women enjoy so much flexibility? Why are these rules imposed on us from every direction? we feel so helpless and out of space to breath, can we brake these shackles to fly to our realm of eternal happiness? so many questions and a bleak answer to end everything up square zero :(
Freedom of expression has no meaning in the dictionary of a cd/tg because there is none to cherish. My mom and sis knows that i am more of a girl but they don't talk about it (atleast in front of me), they don't even allow me to let me justify my actions, i feel like a criminal on life term without any parole, why our basic right for expression is curbed by the very own people who crafted it for the betterment of this society? i guess we are not part of this ethereal world, we exist in some parallel universe for our so called normal society.
simi x
Freedom of expression has no meaning in the dictionary of a cd/tg because there is none to cherish. My mom and sis knows that i am more of a girl but they don't talk about it (atleast in front of me), they don't even allow me to let me justify my actions, i feel like a criminal on life term without any parole, why our basic right for expression is curbed by the very own people who crafted it for the betterment of this society? i guess we are not part of this ethereal world, we exist in some parallel universe for our so called normal society.
simi x
Female perception
According to me females can observe the unthinkable, they can see what is invisible to the eyes of a normal male. They were made this way so that they can be vigilant and avoid any danger coz unlike men they weren't physically as strong to defend themselves. So this remarkable perception gave females an edge over male species, they can get cues of all kinds in everything they observe, they are better in judging mood swings in others with just one look at the face. Last year i confronted this phenomenon on a regular basis, it gave me one more reason to respect females :)
One day i was sitting on my bed and reading a book, suddenly my 10yrs old niece came running to me and said "wow you looked just like a girl from a distance" and ran away giggling without even hearing my rant lol, at that moment i thought how the hell was she suppose to know that? is it some kind of premonition? or i am i busted by a little girl? such kinds of things started creeping in my mind but i couldn't find a good reason for this incident, so i just ignored it thinking that she was just fooling around, little did i know that it was just the beginning of an era lol.
Few days later i was playing pillow fight with her suddenly she said "why don't you shape them?" i got perplexed at her comment, i asked what she was talking about, to which she giggled and told me that i have big pretty nails, even longer than her mum lol, then she told me that i should be a model or something as she was confident i'll qualify without even a trial. By all this mental harassment by her i just ran away from there and started browsing net.
After few days later she pointed many things which she thought were unusual about me, i tried my best to ignore her questions, i was most uncomfy whenever she said something in front of my mom (who knows about me), i had no idea how to shut this devil's little incarnation. So slowly she stopped harassing me any further (coz i stopped reacting to her comments).
This incident made me realize that to hide anything from females isn't possible at all, if my little niece can find out so much about my hidden persona then god knows what others might be knowing by now,i shudder with the mere thought of it lol.
simi x
One day i was sitting on my bed and reading a book, suddenly my 10yrs old niece came running to me and said "wow you looked just like a girl from a distance" and ran away giggling without even hearing my rant lol, at that moment i thought how the hell was she suppose to know that? is it some kind of premonition? or i am i busted by a little girl? such kinds of things started creeping in my mind but i couldn't find a good reason for this incident, so i just ignored it thinking that she was just fooling around, little did i know that it was just the beginning of an era lol.
Few days later i was playing pillow fight with her suddenly she said "why don't you shape them?" i got perplexed at her comment, i asked what she was talking about, to which she giggled and told me that i have big pretty nails, even longer than her mum lol, then she told me that i should be a model or something as she was confident i'll qualify without even a trial. By all this mental harassment by her i just ran away from there and started browsing net.
After few days later she pointed many things which she thought were unusual about me, i tried my best to ignore her questions, i was most uncomfy whenever she said something in front of my mom (who knows about me), i had no idea how to shut this devil's little incarnation. So slowly she stopped harassing me any further (coz i stopped reacting to her comments).
This incident made me realize that to hide anything from females isn't possible at all, if my little niece can find out so much about my hidden persona then god knows what others might be knowing by now,i shudder with the mere thought of it lol.
simi x
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